Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition

I don't have a huge problem with the cry-it-out method in theory, I just doubted my ability to enforce it with consistency. However, Dr. Ferber presents a kinder, gentler method for the baby to learn self-soothing. Since the method allowed me to enter at intervals, I was able to reassure myself that she was fine. I scoured all the reviews on two days ago, right before I started. My husband and I had agreed to begin on a Friday and the very next night she slept through the night. Then Sunday night, again! I'm hoping this really sticks. Our situation: My 8mo baby girl slept through the night at 3months, after I regulated her schedule with a sequence of Eat, Play, Sleep. However, at 4 months, she gave it up and began to wake. She was easy to get back to sleep, I just had to go into her room, pick her up, nurse her for less than 10 min, and put her right back down. She would only wake 2 or 3 times, so I wasn't terrorized by it. However, the feedings began to increase, as did her wet diaper and my frustration. She began to wake every two hours, and for over 3 months, I allowed myself to be subjected to no more than 4-hour stretches of sleep. Torture. She always went down for naps easily, as I put her down drowsy but not asleep, and I never nursed her to sleep. I knew she knew how to comfort herself by sucking her thumb, so I was confused as to why she wasn't doing this at night as well. So I began to research methods for night wakings. I couldn't get a clear answer from "Baby Wise," and the pick-up/put-down method in "The Baby Whisperer" sounded insane and ridiculous. "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" made me feel like I was setting the expectations for my baby way too low, and the various methods would have made my daughter more upset than if I had just never nursed and let her get used to it. My pediatrician recommended this book, and I am KICKING myself for not reading it first. I am very Type-A, and since she had used it herself, she knew the method gave very clear instructions so as to remove the guesswork of it all. What We Learned: Ferber revealed to me that my daughter had a sleep association with nursing. I could either wean her from nursing, then start to remove the night wakings, or I could do both at once. If I had decided to really do this thing, I didn't want to draw it out. I found his advice to be very clear and quite gentle. He offers several scenarios for a myriad of parenting styles, including what to do if you co-sleep. I have no idea why Ferber is a dirty word in attachment parenting. How it worked: The first night was rough. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though. At each of her night wakings, she cried for an hour. However, she wasn't nonstop wailing, she was on and off every other minute (which made knowing when to go in confusing, since Ferber recommends that if you know your child will be disturbed more than comforted by your coming in, then use your judgement). We therefore tailored the program to meet our needs and instead of starting with the 5-min intervals, we began at 10. Even that seemed to disturb her more, and I was confused as to what to do when I went in, because anything I did just reminded her I wasn't nursing. Dad then took over, since she didn't have a nursing association with him, and eventually we went in at the 15min mark, and then not again...even though she cried for another 30min or so. This is because she was close to calming down every 5 minutes, and we didn't want to make it worse. The mantra I spoke to myself when the crying got to me: 1. This isn't the first time in childhood that she'll be upset about a boundary I set for her. 2. She has no experience at self-soothing, so this is just her practicing. 3. She is not in pain, traumatized, or even sad. She is annoyed and angry at the change of pace. Stay busy. Do dishes. Do something that will allow you to expel the adrenaline your body produces when your child cries. RESULTS: The second night I was prepared for another battle, but I was encouraged because I knew it wouldn't be any worse than the first night. WOW. Not only did she wake up less frequently, but when she did - she whimpered for no longer than 5min each time, and then was asleep again. No long crying sessions whatsoever. I was still skeptical the next day, though. I knew that because she had lost sleep the first night, she was working on a sleep deficit because we didn't let her make up the sleep during the day, as Ferber says. Third night: I heard zero wakings or whimpering until 3:45am when she cried on/off for 30min. That's IT. Be sure to read the chapter on the method thoroughly, and take the advice (bedtime 30 min later, don't pick them up, wake at 6am, etc) and stay consistent. I cannot believe how empowered I feel knowing I gave my child the gift of sleep and also sent the message to her that many people live and breath under this roof, not just her. Such a valuable lesson. Dig in and start. Don't wait. I'm kicking myself for enduring sleepless nights for 3 months needlessly.

I bought this book months ago but held off writing this review until we actually used the “method.” First, a bit about the book as a whole: I truly loved it. You’ll learn all about sleep from infancy through adulthood. Sure, it’s not a quick read if you’re a sleep-deprived parent and you could easily save time and money by googling the basics. But the information in the book has, in my mind, three benefits: First, some of it is just interesting. Second, it goes beyond infant sleep problems and gives you background that you can use for sleep success and troubleshooting as your child grows. Third and most importantly, the background provides context to what you’re doing; if you actually read the book, you’ll understand the logic behind the steps you’re taking, which helps when the going gets tough. Ferber’s tone is informative, sensible, and compassionate. The book is, ultimately, empowering. He points out that babies and toddlers don’t know what’s best for themselves; deciding and doing what’s best for them is your job as a parent. That was powerful to me as a new mom. If, like I did, you come to the conclusion that sleeping through the night is in your child’s and your family’s best interest, odds are this book will enable you to make it happen. Now the important part: It worked. My daughter’s sleep was all over the place. We gave her time to work things out on her own, but she never did and so we began sleep training at six months. Like most, I worried graduated extinction wouldn’t work and we’d be putting our daughter and ourselves through this mini ordeal for nothing. I was wrong. It took three nights, and the only truly bad one was the first (she was already able to put herself to sleep so might have taken to it somewhat quickly). In the weeks since sleep training, she’s consistently slept about 10.5 hours per night and most nights drifts off without a whimper. The only “issue” she’s had since was waking extra early the first few days and needing a nap not long after but book gave me the background I needed to address this small issue as well. I have no philosophical objection to allowing a baby to cry for this purpose and know that it doesn’t cause long term harm, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard and that you won’t question yourself. I’ll just say that reading Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems mentally prepared me for it and will help if you, understandably, are hesitant. I was, but now that our whole family is getting the sleep we need and I have a baby who smiles and coos most nights as I lay her down, I’m completely sold on Ferber. 2022 edit: I still love this book. We took the same approach with my son, albeit a few weeks earlier since it had gone so smoothly with my daughter at age 6 months. He protested A LOT more and took more than 3/4 days to consistently start sleeping through the night. It was hard. Still, by 6 months he was sleeping well consistently, and by 10 months he stopped waking up before 6. Anyways, that was all a year ago and he's sleeping nicely as he reaches 18 months. I've also found myself referring to the book a lot more for the older kid issues it devotes most of its pages to--confusional wakings, protesting at bedtime, room sharing, etc... It always comes in handy. The book isn't everyone's cup of tea (though I maintain it will WORK, literally, for just about everyone who sticks with it) but I am so grateful for it. Do I think our kids might have started sleeping on their own eventually if left to their own devices? Sure, I guess (emphasis on eventually). But I'm really glad we were able to set them on a good path in their sleep from an early age, allowing us to better enjoy our waking hours as a family.

I was one of those parents who believe any method that included crying was just plain mean. I did not want to make my baby cry. I was all about Dr. Sears and attachment parenting. I did not necessarily intend on co-sleeping, but ended up doing it out of desperation. My 5 1/2 month old daughter has been a difficult sleeper from day one...literally. She initially slept in the RocknPlay sleeper at night pretty well, but eventually started waking every 5-15 minutes at night, so I brought her into our bed. This was working great, and I really loved it, but then she started getting very mobile and wiggling all night long. She nursed constantly because it was there, would fully awake every hour causing me to get up and bounce her back to sleep. My husband slept on the couch every night because of all this commotion in our bed, and all of us were miserable (including baby.) She also took at least 1-2 hours to fall asleep every night. This set-up was clearly not working. We were merely surviving. I researched many different ways to transition a co-sleeping baby to a crib. We tried side-carring our crib to our bed. The plan was to get her to sleep, then slowly move her into her crib. This way she was in her own space, and not waking me as often with her wiggling. This did not work, she would wake immediately upon touching her mattress. She could tell it wasn't our bed! I read the No-Cry Sleep Solutions book and created a sleep plan that included pick up/put down methods and others. None of these worked either. I read the Baby Whisperer, and online forums. I was SO overwhelmed with all the information and didn't know what to do. Everybody kept telling me, "It's get better!" But I knew it was not going to get better unless I did something. But what to do? I finally broke down and bought Ferber's book. The infamous Ferber, who a co-sleeping, cloth diapering, homemade baby food making, exclusively breastfeeding mother should be totally against. I read his book, and immediately felt better. All of the other books were so confusing. His is very straight forward and informative. There is an actual plan laid out for you. I made my husband read it, too, and we decided on a date to try it. I wanted to wait until my baby could roll over, suck on her hands for comfort, and no longer needed the swaddle. We started 3 days ago on a Friday night. I recommend doing a weekend, just in case you don't get much sleep, and so your partner (who may have to go to work) can stay up and help you. If you don't have a partner, I recommend getting a friend or relative to come over. It is much harder on the mother than the baby, I believe. I don't think I could have done it alone. My main goal was not to night wean my baby, but to get her to sleep in her crib and be able to fall asleep without nursing/rocking/patting, etc. This is how it has gone so far: Night #1: Did our normal strict bedtime routine, laid her down in her crib, gave her a kiss and left the room. Did a check at 3 minutes and 5 minutes. After the first two checks, we decided that going in there actually riled her up more, so we didn't do anymore checks. Her crying was kind of turning into the mantra cry, and it sounded like she was sort of working it out and trying to sleep. I didn't want to interrupt this by going in. Total time crying was 30 minutes before she fell asleep. I couldn't believe it. I was expecting it to go on for hours. She slept for 6.5 hours before waking to eat. I fed her, laid her down awake, and she fell back to sleep with no crying. She slept for another 3 hours. Night #2: 4 minutes of crying. 11 straight hours of sleep. Night #3: Less than one minute of crying. 11 hours of sleep with one night feeding. I hear her waking on the monitor every once in a while throughout the night. She cries a bit, but I wait to go in. Always wait a few minutes before running in! She almost always is not actually awake, and goes right back to sleep. We've only done 3 nights, but so far, this has been a miracle. UPDATE: It has now been almost 4 months since we did Ferber's method. My baby is 9 months old now. We definitely had the regression on the 5th night that he talks about in the book, and I almost gave in and started co-sleeping again, but I'm so glad I didn't! We've had many ups and downs, and after a few weeks, we settled into 2 wake ups/feedings per night, which I could deal with. Teething and vacation threw us some more curve balls, but we've stuck with it. If I ever have to make her cry for some reason, it is usually only one or two minutes worth of crying. She's just doing a quick little protest, then quickly realizes it's time to sleep and settles in. It's not a quick fix, but it is the only thing that has worked with my baby. Gentler methods may work for other kids, but not mine. And in the end, I thought that letting her cry was far less damaging than letting her be chronically overtired and having a completely non-functioning, depressed, exhausted mother. I'm happier because I'm well-rested. She's happier because she's well-rested. After doing all of this, she is also taking 2 consistent, good naps everyday. Our lives are so much better. I'm not necessarily a proponent of letting a baby cry, but I am a HUGE proponent of healthy sleep.

I just put 4 stars because i Was looking for something more practical. The book is very long and detailed in a way that might not interest everybody that has to read it while sleep deprived, but all the content is good (I probably read half of everything). I soon after the first chapters skipped to the method of teaching the baby to sleep. My girl is 4 months and very very easy going since the beggining. But she was sleeping very poorly, so I got rid of the pacifier and let one of her arms free fromthe wrap for her to learn to use her hand to self sooth. I started letting her by herself (crying or not) for 3 minutes without increasing the intervals the first night, just because I couldn't let her cry longer since she almost never cries. She went to sleep after 30 minutes and woke up that night 4 times (what was kind of the same from before). I fed her at her first awakening at 10:30, I did the interval method (3 minutes) at around 12. Fed her at 3:00 (she woke up by herself and I didn't want to cut all the night feeding yet), and then she woke up smiling at around 5. The second night she didnt wake up at 10:30, but woke up at around 1:30 and I fed her and she went back to sleep. And then woke up at 5:30 or so. I kept doing the 3 minutes intervals on her naps too, sometimes I did up to 10 minutes if she was only crying lightly. After 4 days she slept for the first time from 8 to 4 in the morning and ate and went back to sleep until 7:30. After that she usually goes to sleep at 7:30 and wakes up for a feeding anywhere between 4 and 7 and goes back to sleep until 8-9. I feed her and put her down semi awake, sometimes she still cries but usually she just falls asleep or "talks" until falling asleep. She learnt how to suck her fingers or thumb, so now I leave both her hands out. Once in a while we have some harder nights that she wakes up at 1 or 3 to feed (I tried to let her cry but it did nit work - I couldn't do it for more then 3 trips in the bedroom knowing that she had eaten so long ago). But she goes back to sleeping through the night after a couple of bad nights. Her naps are a lot easier, she takes two 1-2h solid naps at 11 and 15 Approx.

I love this book! I know that there has been a lot of bad publicity about Ferber's method with Cry It Out. It's incredibly obvious that people misunderstood his message in his original edition of this book from the 80s. He is very focused on compassion with your children and would not ever want you to neglect them and never recommends it. This book goes through a lot of different conditions for sleep problems with your children all the way through adolescence which I imagine will be very helpful in the coming years. Especially because my husband's family suffers from night terrors into adulthood. The first night we implemented his techniques, using the methods that he suggested and making a few rules of our own since we have twins, they only cried for 7 minutes before they went to sleep (checked on twice). It was amazing! They did wake up a few times during the night and we had a couple of longer bouts of them crying but it wasn't anything that was unmanageable or hard to bear. There are times where it's very difficult to listen to them cry and I think in those moments you just have to follow your mom gut instincts and go check on them or do what you need to do but we have a video monitor so that made things a lot easier. We also learned that doing things that distract you helps a lot while you're paying attention to what's going on. Like playing a game on your phone or doing the dishes while you're waiting to go back up to check on them stuff. On the second night there was absolutely no crying. They went down after about 10 minutes of quiet time in their cribs and slept the entire night (approx 10hrs). Now let me note here that my babies were still having a nighttime bottle. They are seven and a half months old, approx 6 months adjusted since they were five weeks early, and a bottle at night is not anything surprising at that age. But as Ferber says in his book, babies that are 5 months or older do not biologically need the bottle but might be using it as a comfort or be in the habit of food at that time because their bodies are conditioned for it. We were expecting that we were going to have to continue this for a little while and then ease them off as he suggests in his book. That being said, they completely went off the feed immediately by themselves with no prompting from us. They also stopped having pacifiers on the very first night as well as being moved into their own room all at once. The only thing that did not change were their actual cribs which just moved locations. We have had some continued crying in the following evenings but it's all very manageable and most nights is very minimal. The only thing that I'm still struggling with is nap training. With twins it's incredibly important to try to figure out some kind of schedule where they can both be down so that you can get some stuff done which is very hard because they're two separate beings they have different sleep needs and preferences and they don't always want to go down at the exact same time. So I am still struggling with that part of it but using his techniques and some very minimally modified ways to make it work for us with the twins. I do wish he had more information on naps in the book on how to do nap training and to make sure that they're on the right schedule going forward. All of that said, we could not be happier with this book. We have not done anything that we weren't comfortable with, and there were moments that I just had to go check on them or do some soothing. Because of his book we've learned different soothing techniques that don't become associations to help continue to promote them to do self soothing. His information is very important in helping you understand the patterns and behaviors that you've done to create sleep problems without realizing it and then helps you address that and learn how to modify your own behavior as well. We are incredibly blessed that they took to this so well and I feel that the guidance in his book that is easy to read and understand was definitely the key to unlocking their potential for sleeping. Now we are all getting the sleep which is so beneficial for everybody in our household and everyone is so much happier. On average they both sleep from 8/8:15pm-6:30am. Talk about a life changer!!

***3 MONTH UPDATE*** We are CONSISTENTLY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! My baby is almost 9 months old now and we started this at 6 months. We went at our own pace and started with *just naps* as my pediatrician suggested. I continued to go nurse her at night if she cried (at first) - until I realized that just wasn't going to work. At her age, she absolutely doesn't need the night time feedings - so - we let her cry at night too. It was rough for about a week. She would wake and cry for an hour in the middle of the night. So we still weren't sleeping great at first, but now, she sleeps from about 8pm - 6am every night - straight through - no crying (but she still *does* cry when we put her in the crib). She also still screams when I put her down for a nap. But end result: she naps in the day and sleeps at night. I hate it, but crying has been the ONLY solution for her. She is also napping MUCH more consistently - and for longer amounts of time. Finally! Crying it out was so worth it. I can finally enjoy motherhood now. And my baby is getting the sleep she needs. Side note - my baby had eczema from almost head to toe. That was a nightmare. I am convinced that the eczema was a big factor for her not sleeping well. That's a whole other story, but - I used Tubby Todd ointment (along with prescription hydrocortisone) just in case you were curious. I slathered every ointment on her that you could think of. Main point: when you are ready to face your fear of letting your baby cry --- GO FOR IT! We are all much happier now! ---------------------- I have never felt so physically, emotionally, mentally DRAINED in my life - so in my desperation, I bought this book. After two weeks: Two weeks into this, my 6 month old daughter has slept through the night a handful of times, but still tends to wake one time most nights. This is a HUGE improvement compared to being up 5+ times a night (or more)! I was desperate when I tried this and wasn't sure if I should let me baby cry, but I am glad I went for it. I am still reading the book - haven't had tons of free time to read ; ) I am very glad I used the Ferber Method. More details: My daughter REFUSES to take a bottle and - until using this method - would ONLY sleep if I nursed her to sleep and then snuck her into her crib ever so carefully. ALSO - the slightest thing would wake her up and.... she would cry for me to nurse her back to sleep. Again. And again. She was feeding so much at night that it was stimulating her metabolism and juuust as I had nursed her to sleep - she would poop! I would have to change her diaper (which woke her right up) - and we would start the WHOLE PROCESS OVER - nursing to sleep again. Lack of sleep brings out the worst in me and I was so on edge every single day. I am feeling much more like myself now and much more rested. Hesitations on crying: To make matters worse, I had not felt confident about letting her cry because she always had some issue going on (reflux, eczema, congestion, teething). If it wasn't one thing, it was another and it felt cruel to let her cry. Against my instincts, I let her cry a *little* at two months (because a friend told me I should) and she was sooo not ready. Should have listened to my gut - that was way too early. Then, at 4 months she suddenly refused to be nursed to sleep one night, so we suddenly tried to let her cry (without any preparation) and she cried for TWO HOURS. Insane and traumatic for us all. I felt so terrible. Again, she just wasn't ready/old enough/whatever - and we had absolutely no strategy. Then when we hit six months - it was time! I couldn't carry the burden anymore. She wasn't napping. She had bags under her eyes. I was falling apart myself. I debated about whether to buy this book versus a "no tears" book. My baby is so strong willed. I ultimately decided she was just going to have to cry a little. How much crying? There was actually less crying than I expected! Hallelujah! Most of the crying we deal with is during nap time. For naps, the book tells you not to let your child keep crying once you hit 30 minutes. We have unfortunately hit the 30 minute mark here a few times and she goes without a nap. Naps are harder, but still - she is napping much more consistently now. At night, my baby is quite tired and she has only cried about 15 minutes at the most. Most nights she still cries 5 - 10 minutes, however, some nights she is just too tired to cry and goes right to sleep. It is worth the tears! I feel such a weight lifted off of me. This book gave me the confidence to let my baby cry and learn to sleep on her own. It went into detail on her specific issues (hers was a combination of sleep association and feeding issues). I feel like I have a much better understanding of how to handle my baby's sleep - and I will hopefully understand more when I finish the book. I skimmed through to the most critical information because - when you are sleep deprived and caring for a baby - you don't have time to read an entire book!

This review is written for the parents of toddlers who, while we have loved rocking our sweet baby to sleep every night for the past 18 months, realize it's time for everyone involved to get a good night sleep. This wasn't the first time we had tried some sleep training and we almost had it down a few times before, but drifted back to the bottle and rocking chair because it was so much more comforting for both of us. We finally decided that we needed to do something before our 18 month check up and lecture from the pediatrician about both the bottle and sleep habits. I want to note that we do not practice attachment parenting, but we are also not fans of letting our child feel alone and cry without being there to comfort him. We chose this sleep training option after reading about others and trying both strict "cry it out" and the "sleep lady shuffle" months prior. The "cry it out" worked when he was about nine months old, but didn't last because we weren't ready to give up our rocking at night. The "sleep lady shuffle" didn't work with our son because it was too hard on both him and us to be in the same room while the crying didn't stop. As long as he could see us, he wasn't going to give up and go to sleep. Our Process: We started on a Friday night (before our Monday morning 18 month check-up) so that if it was difficult we had the weekend to handle it. We decided to stop the bottle and rocking to sleep at the same time so that we didn't have a two phase approach. We also decided that I (mom) would be the person to handle the new bedtime routine and check-ins until we were through the transition. The new routine included reading books, cribside prayers before putting him down, singing a lullaby after putting him down, and then leave the room. We followed the check-in schedule exactly as they are listed in the book. We also put him down about 45 minutes later than normal so that he was tired. The first night it took him 54 minutes to go to sleep. Each time I went in his room for the check-in I would hold his hand (that is soothing for him) and only stayed about a minute. It was difficult to leave, but being able to watch him on the monitor did make it easier. We also purchased a video monitor prior to starting this program which gave me so much peace of mind. The second night it took him 28 minutes to go to sleep and the third it took him 45 minutes. I believe the increase in time was because he wasn't tired enough when we put him down. After one week he was crying for less than 10 minutes, so no check-in was needed. At day 12, he didn't make a sound when I left the room the first time and went right to sleep. I know 12 days may sound like a long time, but since the crying length got shorter each night it was just another victory - and I did do a happy dance that night. The best part of it all is that from day one he has slept through the whole night. There have been two nights when he has woken up for a minute or two, but was able to go back to sleep before I needed to step in the room. This is a huge win for us as our biggest challenge prior to starting this program was the middle of the night wakings. As far as getting rid of the bottle, it wasn't a problem at all. He has only once gone to look for it before bedtime and I now have my counter space back in the kitchen! Overall, this program worked perfectly for us. We are all getting better sleep at night which in turn makes our days better. This is probably harder to do with a toddler, but I've learned it can be done. My son is still happy to see me each morning when he wakes up and now also seems happy to go "night-night" each night. The book review: This book is very clear and provides great information for parents on both the sleep training method and the science behind sleep as well. Learning the science of sleep and sleep patterns was very eye opening to me and really helped me to better understand why our nights were so difficult leading up to starting the sleep training. I also learned a lot about myself as a parent. Ferber can get a bad rep, but if you take the time to read the book and follow the guidelines it may just be the solution for you.

Okay so I finally have the time to write this review. Much like other moms, I searched endlessly on the internet looking for answers how to get my child to sleep. Initially my child slept about 9 hours since week 5 until he got to 3.5 months. I thought I was lucky and I was, but it all changed when he reached the 4 month regression. I was desperate like most moms to get my child to sleep, rocking, nursing him to sleep, holding him upright to sleep every night, but it was wreaking havoc on my body. I wasn't sleeping well, my back was killing me, I was on edge and I started to resent my baby. So I decided to take a step in helping my child to sleep which in turn will hopefully help our family get some rest. I wasn't really ready for the CIO, but I decided to give it a try. First night my child cried about 2 hours, then next night 1 hour and the next 30 mins, fast forward a month later he was still not sleep trained. Towards the end of the month he would cry 1 hour every night before he finally went to bed. I'm writing this review maybe to help other parents discover what I didn't know or what I didn't do correctly. So in CIO, I don't think we did it correctly, we did stay for 1-2 minutes to check in but we were trying to soothe him to stop crying, we would talk to him and say its ok, giving him lots of attention instead of just going in to check in that he was ok and that nothing was wrong(ie pain, poop diaper, etc). So what we learned was that my child was training himself to cry every night until we came in to give him the attention, he would do that until he was so tired that he would finally fall asleep. So if you are going to do check in just do a matter of fact check in and leave. I think I was also putting my child to sleep much later than he should. According to the book it says the later it is the more tired he would be, but I think he got overtired. If your CIO isn't working I would try earlier bedtime, I think it is much harder for a child to put himself to sleep when he is so wired and overtired. My child also had anxiety every time I put him down for bed time. I kept thinking he hates the crib or something. I was so unsure of myself. Mind you he does not have anxiety during the day for nap. So everyday after bathtime, he knew bedtime was coming and he would get anxious about it and cry. After talking to someone, she suggested that I leave the light on when saying goodnight so my child can see me leave the room and not be anxious that I just disappeared, because I used to turn off all the lights except the night light and sing him a goodnight song. I think that did help him to get rid of his anxiety b/c he didn't cry anymore when I was preparing him for bed time. Lastly since my child trained himself to cry every night until we came in to soothe him, we had to do the extinction method, which is let him cry it out and NOT go in. Before this sleep training process began, I never wanted to do that, but I was ready to try anything to not let him cry every night. So if he cried 1 night with us not going in, it would surely beat every night of crying for 1-2 hours with us checking in. So we went for it, night 1 - 2.2 hrs crying, night 2 - 1.2 hrs, night 3 - 30 min, night 4 - 20 mins, night 5, no cry, night 6 no cry, etc. So we finally achieved what we wanted to in 5 nights as opposed to the month of ferberizing. So ferber method might have worked for us if we implemented all of the above, not sure since we can't go back and extinction method did work for us because we have seen success. My child now takes 3 naps a day about total 3-4 hours and he sleeps about 11-12.5 hours at night. He wakes up happy every day! So all in all it was worth it.